5.29.18 | I told myself I would go to sleep at 3

and tonight you're away in another state,
a foreign bed with a familiar lover.
I imagine you're curled up together,
breaths rising and falling.
and she's one hundred and three miles away,
not far enough, yet too far at the same time.
she sleeps alone in the early hours of the night
and rises with the sun,
a vivacity I'll never possess.
and tonight I sleep alone, pushed to one edge
by my fears, with just enough space
on the bed for another body to lie next to me.
but not enough space in my heart.