5.17.18
Eyes fluttering in the land between awake and asleep, falling dangerously towards the border, body and mind dissipating into the darkness of slumber.
"Hey," she says from across the room, her body's silhouette discernable admist the cherry glow of a string of holiday lights way past their season, "You deserve better than how she's treating you."
I don't know what to say, because I don't know what I'm feeling or how to appropriately respond, or whether what she's saying is even true -- Do I deserve better? Is there anything better out there? Specifically, is there anyone out there better than her?
I don't think so.
I mutter a "Thank you," and close my eyes, only to open my heart to what it's been holding back the entire night, through a drunken doldrum and the inevitable sobriety. I realized that all the alcohol in the world cannot possibly drown out or nourish the drought in my heart. Because right then and there, I felt the cracks of pain unravel and reveal themselves as rawly as they wished.
Salt could cleanse, but salt could inhibit the growth I desperately yearned for. So, I let out the ocean waves threatening to flood my soul's home and I haven't stopped swimming since.
Mouthfuls remind my lungs to be stronger than my heart, who is never secure enough for the fervent feelings that plague it.
"Hey," she says from across the room, her body's silhouette discernable admist the cherry glow of a string of holiday lights way past their season, "You deserve better than how she's treating you."
I don't know what to say, because I don't know what I'm feeling or how to appropriately respond, or whether what she's saying is even true -- Do I deserve better? Is there anything better out there? Specifically, is there anyone out there better than her?
I don't think so.
I mutter a "Thank you," and close my eyes, only to open my heart to what it's been holding back the entire night, through a drunken doldrum and the inevitable sobriety. I realized that all the alcohol in the world cannot possibly drown out or nourish the drought in my heart. Because right then and there, I felt the cracks of pain unravel and reveal themselves as rawly as they wished.
Salt could cleanse, but salt could inhibit the growth I desperately yearned for. So, I let out the ocean waves threatening to flood my soul's home and I haven't stopped swimming since.
Mouthfuls remind my lungs to be stronger than my heart, who is never secure enough for the fervent feelings that plague it.
Comments
Post a Comment