4.1.18
Six days at home and I forget how to function.
Sometimes I say I want to go home and I'm not sure where I'm talking about anymore.
Am I talking about the physical residence I lived in for sixteen years? Do I mean the room I've shared with another human being for the last six months?
Or that condo at the beach we occupied for less than a week? How about the camper in the creepy campsite? Maybe it's the room I stayed in while visiting Florida, an air mattress and some charged crystals I'll never see again.
I attach "home" to too many places, but the label belongs to one person and always has.
There's no use not being candid about feelings - enough of my "I don't want to get hurt"-bullshit. I am going to get hurt because that's life and I've been hurt before, I'll be hurt again, but I will survive.
So many feelings occupy my heart, some are just ghosts passing through, lightly knocking things over, making some areas colder than others.
The feelings for you are there, they never left, to be completely honest.
They snuck in very quietly five years ago before my heart was guarded, and despite the constant traffic storming through, they never found their way out. Every time I thought they were safely on their way out, I was wrong. Instead, I left the door unlocked for them to continuously wander in.
They crept into my heart and unlike the rest, I never wanted them to leave.
Sometimes I say I want to go home and I'm not sure where I'm talking about anymore.
Am I talking about the physical residence I lived in for sixteen years? Do I mean the room I've shared with another human being for the last six months?
Or that condo at the beach we occupied for less than a week? How about the camper in the creepy campsite? Maybe it's the room I stayed in while visiting Florida, an air mattress and some charged crystals I'll never see again.
I attach "home" to too many places, but the label belongs to one person and always has.
There's no use not being candid about feelings - enough of my "I don't want to get hurt"-bullshit. I am going to get hurt because that's life and I've been hurt before, I'll be hurt again, but I will survive.
So many feelings occupy my heart, some are just ghosts passing through, lightly knocking things over, making some areas colder than others.
The feelings for you are there, they never left, to be completely honest.
They snuck in very quietly five years ago before my heart was guarded, and despite the constant traffic storming through, they never found their way out. Every time I thought they were safely on their way out, I was wrong. Instead, I left the door unlocked for them to continuously wander in.
They crept into my heart and unlike the rest, I never wanted them to leave.
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