12.1.17 | part i

And so the day begins,
with sweat dripping down my back,
laying flat and in a sleepy haze.
An empty bottle lies in the graveyard of a garbage can.
Unsuspecting gifts at my doorstep,
bits of paper that I never imagined so meaningful.
Little reminders that I'm not some kind
of irrational being like those learned about
in philosophy class.
If I died tomorrow,
these would be the people
left behind.
19 years ago today,
I did not exist at this moment
and I am overly aware of this.
Acid burns my throat
but it's also burning my mind.
Today is not the day for lectures
and reminders of my own
incompetence.
I need to grow up,
but I am growing everyday
athough this progress goes unnoticed
by those lurking in the darkest corners.
I'm struggling
but I'll be okay.
That's what's important.
I am stronger in the places cut open,
blood replaced has been replaced with ichor,
I've carried myself through hell,
I've traveled through the Underworld
and I've decided I deserve to live
on my own personal Mount Olympus.
I am not a goddess by any means,
I am scarred from my own mistakes,
I am the wounded antelope attacked by a lion I could not outrun.
I am working toward the crown of laurels calling me.
I hope I get there someday.
I hope you do, too.