11.6.17

-
"You're my favorite,"
"You're my favorite, too," I whisper back.
She doesn't know what I really mean by this.
"You want one too, right?"
I nod weakly, unable to say no to any drink nowadays.
Today marks night three.
I might have more alcohol than blood.
I've gone from drinking alone in my bedroom for the pure sake of being drunk to drinking mixed drinks in a friend's bunk bed, tilting my head back as I down them, praying the alcohol gets to me before my feelings do.
I want to grasp the blade, but I'm afraid of what will come out.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

3.6.18 | aventure

-
I want to wake up early, or no, better yet -- I want to stay up all night and leave before the morning sun peaks, sneaking out in the quiet hush of dawn washing over my suburb. We'll sneak out and make our own adventure, covering miles of highway and weaving through the mountains until we break free and make it to the city, just in time for the early morning sun to reflect off the side of the skyscrapers, taking in the blessing of the day's glow. I'll pull over at that one spot, the detour we took last time, and there we can take a glimpse at the urban village perched on the still, crystalline water. We could weave through the labyrinthine streets downtown, straying away from the neon lights and heavily littered sidewalks. Instead, the obscure corner cafés will be our sanctuaries and with caffeine occupying our veins we will be unstoppable. I want to go to that one bridge, too famous to bother mentioning, but still beautiful enough to take up space in my camera's me...
Read more

8.9.18 | nest

-
I ask her what she wants, knowing I don't even know what I want. How hypocritical. Part of me longs for her to answer, "You, I want you," plain and simple, exactly what we are not. Nearby, another part of me fears this. I'm good at attracting girls who don't want to commit to me. Now I've discovered I'm equally good at pushing away the one girl who does want to commit. How do I long for commitment while simultaneously fearing it? The same way a baby bird yearns to fly but is too afraid to fall from the nest.
Read more

8.9.18 | about 8.6

-
I was watching the clock count down to 6:40, knowing a plane was departing without us; knowing we weren't getting our adventure; knowing we've come so far and had gotten so close, but fate is just a selfish tease and we took the bait, once again. You said we never get what we want in life and I'm starting to think maybe you're right.
Read more