10.23.17
I woke up feeling nothing but pangs of regret. Text messages of concern filtering through my phone, I wish I had saved some of the messages from last night, but perhaps it's best that I didn't.
I should know better.
I do know better.
Yet I found myself still talking to him as if we were still together, nothing but sparse memories lingering every time his name pops up on my phone.
I wanted to cry, I wanted to swallow myself whole, I wanted to die.
My friends looked after me instead, taking out the garbage bag as I threw up all of my stomach's contents or lack thereof, caring for me as the acid in my body began to loathe me.
My entire chest began to burn, it still burns, perhaps it's making up for not burning the previous night.
I say "never again," but I know I never follow my own advice.
I should know better.
I do know better.
Yet I found myself still talking to him as if we were still together, nothing but sparse memories lingering every time his name pops up on my phone.
I wanted to cry, I wanted to swallow myself whole, I wanted to die.
My friends looked after me instead, taking out the garbage bag as I threw up all of my stomach's contents or lack thereof, caring for me as the acid in my body began to loathe me.
My entire chest began to burn, it still burns, perhaps it's making up for not burning the previous night.
I say "never again," but I know I never follow my own advice.
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