10.12.17

Two years and two days, I think it was. 

There's that one quote about October, about how it's different each year. 

Two years ago that quote was all I could think about because it was too relevant. Things were so different in the best way possible, in the best way ever imaginable for my sixteen-year-old self. 

Now two years have passed and things are too different in the worst way possible because this October isn't the same as the one two years ago, when things were good, when my heart was falling like a dead leaf, headed for a vibrant new life. Now my heart is a dead leaf, stepped on and crumpled into heaps on the sidewalk.

We wandered on the trail until coming to the shore, where I stood in amazement of the blues and oranges and reds and yellows dancing across the water's reflection. The waves were bluer than the sky, my heart was jumping for this beautiful place, leaping to be beside you. 

I stood near the edge on this beautiful fall day because my heart was already falling off the cliff, waiting for you to catch it.

You stood back and observed me, but I'm not sure if you ever caught it.

There's that one quote about October, about wondering what next October is like.

I hope next October is like the one from two years ago because since then, that's all I've wanted.